you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
