I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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