you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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