Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
