So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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