just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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