Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
