if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
