Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
