there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
