All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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