worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
