Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
