and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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