D3 body, D1 cock
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
