??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i dont even know how to be here
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
