Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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