dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
