they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
