he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
