Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
