Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
