so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I touched a dick in church today
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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