you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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