he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
