Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
