Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
