bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
