i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
