He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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