This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
