Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
