He told me they were just razor bumps!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
