Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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