I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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