He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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