Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
