Can i not drive my cunt home
if only i could text you this smell
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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