i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
