I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
