I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
