chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
