on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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