Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
