I cockslap morals
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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