Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How does it feel to date your dad?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
