Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
