I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I see more hoeing in ur future
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
