Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
