So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
