Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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